before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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