enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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