do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
