Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
