if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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