Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
