I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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