Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
