dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
