I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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