...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
