So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
