i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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