Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
