she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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