you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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