Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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