Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
