I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
