I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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