EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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