I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
