she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
