I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
