He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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