The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize