I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
