Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i think i just lost a toe
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
