My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the condom got lost in my hair
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
