why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.