when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.