is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?