other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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