The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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