yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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