Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
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