This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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