I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Couch. On fire.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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