Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
