So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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