I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
