4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
