I'm pants shitting drunk right now
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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