so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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