Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
