Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize