:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
