Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm too high and old for this...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
