using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
