I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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