Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
