Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
