Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
