please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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