Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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