She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
