I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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