cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
