OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
