He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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