It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
