youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
