allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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