Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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