I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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