Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
