That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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